Download Bad Habits: Confessions of a Recovering Catholic by Jenny McCarthy PDF

By Jenny McCarthy

Dearest Reader,

By now you are brooding about: Jenny McCarthy has extra to say?! After six New York Times bestsellers, i have mentioned being pregnant, autism, and motherhood. i am hoping you have loved it. i am hoping it truly is made you snigger and cry and all these issues that bestselling books approximately such issues are meant to do.

But this e-book is ready anything totally new--a topic that has pervaded my lifestyles on account that start and burdened the fck out of me for roughly an analogous time: Catholicism. As I input into maturity (play alongside, thanks), i feel i'll have eventually found out this religion factor. And what it ability to me. yet first, I needed to consider my existence. And my memoir, Bad Habits*, is the fruit (not the Eve's apple type) of that labor.

Bad Habits is my trip from aspiring nun at an all-girls Catholic tuition within the suburbs of Chicago, to Playmate of the yr, to autism knowledge activist, to bestselling writer, to host of my own speak show... and the entire Hail Marys in among. After examining this ebook, you will understand why you'll want to put on lingerie to church, why Jesus used to be my Justin Bieber, and why I needed to surrender giving shit up for Lent.

Bad Habits can also be my own exam of religion and the way it seems to shock us on the such a lot unforeseen moments. it's a ebook of confessions approximately confession! i have attempted to be brutally sincere notwithstanding it might probably learn as extra like embarrassingly enjoyable, and i am continually outlandish so that is in right here too; yet actually, this booklet is sinfully hilarious (My writer made me say that).

Bless you my children,

Confessions approximately Jenny McCarthy

"Like spending a day together with your top friend"
--Susan Jane Gilman, NPR

"McCarthy brings you in and makes you laugh."

"McCarthy is undeniably crass yet funny"
--Publishers Weekly

--Time Out New York

"...disarming, humorous and so boundless..."
--Arizona Republic

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Additional info for Bad Habits: Confessions of a Recovering Catholic

Example text

He grabbed a fistful of popcorn and shoved it all into his mouth, chewing wildly as half fell out onto the floor. He grabbed a stack of our Jesus VHS tapes and started to look through them. “Jesus of Nazareth. Holy shitballs, six hours? Hoo hoo hoooo,” George laughed. He had eyes like Rodney Dangerfield. Mom shot Dad her classic menacing stare to take George out of the room. Dad shot up perkily off the La-Z-Boy and summoned George to mosey on over into the kitchen. I was on to them and their master plan, and so was Mom.

Squeak, squeak. My mom and Janet both whipped their heads in their kids’ direction. I immediately looked at Greg and pointed to him. ” I heard him whimper, and for a moment I felt redemption for the doll urination act. The Mass continued. It was like the scene from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off when the dull teacher keeps saying, “Bueller … Bueller … Bueller … Bueller,” in his flat voice while the class is half asleep. I think some parishioners were actually drooling. Squeak, squeaaaaaak! Not anymore.

God hates you and He loves me! You’re just jealous,” she said. “You don’t even go to church! ” I bounced back like a crazed girl on Jerry Springer. ) “That’s because we’re so holy we don’t need to go to Mass every Sunday like you sinners,” she snarked back. ” I said defensively. “God, you guys are dumb,” Lynette said, rolling her eyes. “You guys are just bitter because you’re so poor and your house is disgusting,” Mallory said, flipping her hair. I wanted to punch her in her face, but Mom came back in with snacks to feed the bitch.

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